I'm So Disappointed in the Church!

Today I've been outraged by none other than a "Christian" establishment. I put that word in quotes because I've come across too many people who identify themselves as Christians and yet they shun, turn away, judge, lie, cheat, steal, commit adultery, are greedy, are glutonous, and the list goes on and on. They themselves partake in the same "sins" that they judge others for. This morning, my daughter Alexa, was ready and excited to start her first day of Pre-K at High Point Preparatory Academy, which is a private school spun off from High Point Church in Arlington, TX. About a week ago, myself and my partner Bridget went to the school to pay the tuition before we left for vacation. Alexa's teacher, Mrs. Homet, happened to be there, so I found her and introduced myself and my daughter; I also introduced Bridget, as my daughters other parent. When we got back into town, I had a voicemail from the director stating that it was pretty urgent that she spoke with me before Alexa began school, preferably on Monday, September 1st, Labor day. The school was slated to be closed that day, but she would meet me there. I had a feeling immediately what the meeting would be about, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I called her on Monday and let her know that I'd be happy to meet her early Tuesday morning before Alexa's class began. I've been getting Alexa crunk about going to her new school for months. She had on her new uniform, new shoes, new backpack, and she was ready for her first day of class. I get to the meeting with the director, Cami, and soon the associate pastor of the church (which by the way is supposed to be a seperate entity from the school) joined the meeting. We got into the application, which I was told was the purpose of the meeting - she wanted to make sure we are all on the same page, slowly but surely she inched her way into asking me what the extent of mine and Bridget's relationship was. I was very open, and after several questions had been asked without asking the question, I finally said, I consider her to be my partner, which is what they'd assumed. We went round and round for about an hour about how they "love" the person, but can't embrace the lifestyle, and therefore can't in good faith allow my daughter to attend their school. WOW! Of course in our rounds, I let them know that I understand and respect their personal beliefs about my lifestyle, howsumever, I am extremely disappointed in the "Church" because the main message of Bible, whether it was God inspired or not, is about Love, with no conditions. It's not about shunning those who do things that you don't agree with, Christianity is about opening your arms to everyone, the entire body of Christ, for essentialy none of us are without sin. So who the fuck are they to judge me - this is in my opinion THE sin. No one should be allowed to go to that school, because everyone there is a "sinner". He even had the nerve to say, "Yeah, I know, I sin is a sin is a sin." You Hypocritical fuckers! I thank God, the Father, that this happened before we got deep into the school year. I definitely do not want my child being influenced by such hyprocrits. I feel sorry for them and their children being that they will have to fight through, dig out of, all of the gunk, the religion, the hypocrisy, the judgemental attitudes, the discriminatory practices that they are being taught that is completely contradictory to the Bible. WAKE UP PEOPLE! Let's study to show ourselves approved. Let's listen to the Christ within us all, when something within in you is telling you that something isn't right - it's probably not.


Go to http://www.twopaths.com/faq_homosexuality.htm to get you started on your study. I found this amongst other articles very interesting at the very least. Mostly listen to heart, and look at yourself before you look outside yourself for the truth. Treat other's the way you'd like to be treated. Follow the most important commandment: Love your neighbors as yourself.

A Star is Born - My 4 Year Old Doing Her Thing

Alexa doing her Naomi walk and dancing to a Mariah song. Get it girl! Get it girl!

You've got to be kidding me...

WTF! This artist is literally known internationally as "Nigga". That is some bull$hit if ever I've seen some. This is just RETARDICULOUS! I, am actually at a loss for words on this one.

Obama vs. Clinton

I just don't know yet who I will vote for this year. What I do know in my bones is that who I vote for wont really matter much. Ok, I'm putting on one of my favorite hats right now: Conspiracy Theorist. I think there are a group of people worldwide who make all the decisions in relation to who is in power in each of the major countries in the world including the U.S. So, I vote so that I can write or gather with groups of people and voice my opinion in relation to politics. Now, that I've gotten that out of the way....Well, again, I think they are no different than most politicians in that they will lie to gain power, use propoganda to persuade the masses, use different tools to figure out what to say to what group of people to garner votes, etc, etc. So, I think I will search my self and try to determine for myself whether or not I and my unit would benefit more from having a black president or a woman president. Ok, Ok, I'm definitely not that simple nor am I that silly. Seriously though, let's quickly talk about my issues. Neither of these candidates supports same-sex marriage, they don't support a ban on it, and they do support civil unions. Whatever... On immigration they have the same views: give immigrants a legal path to citizenship, improve border security, improve enforcement of existing laws. Personally, I just feel like if I have to pay taxes, all of them should have to pay as well, period. On health care: Hillary's plan covers a bit more ground than Obama's plan. I understand that taxes in Canada are vast, howsumever ("however" for those ebonically challenged), I just beleive that everyone should have the right to be well taken care of should they need medical care of any kind, especially if the illness is life threatening. Barack wants to bring the troops home asap, I think Hillary does too if I can read in between the rhetoric; Barack has a leg up that he never voted to send them in the first place unlike Hillary. They both support abortion rights. I agree moreso with Obama's views on taxes than Hillary's. I gathered this information regarding the candidates views on different topics at: http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/issues/issues.abortion.html . Ahh Hell, I think I'll vote for Mickey Mouse or Stephen Colbert if their names are on the ballot....

Sad for so many reasons..

This touched me partly because he was the same age as I just turned a few days ago. Life can be so short. Any of us could be gone today. Love hard and Be happy every moment. God gave each of us the gift of time. Use it wisely....

Top of the To Do List...

Make this your priority: Figure out this year how to make You happy. As an adult, don't expect someone or something to make you happy. People change, things are lost and if you are depending on that person or that thing to make you happy, eventually you will be sad, upset, heart broken, spirit broken amongst a host of other negative moods that can be accompanied with disappointment. This message is for those times when we are not dealing with PMS, because beleive me it's hard to control your mood when your hormones are out of whack (God bless those of you who experience this monthly). If you are feeling shitty, down and out, sorry for yourself (for whatever reason), sad, depressed, afraid and guarded, etc. don't expect the people around you to go there with you. If you are not willing to face your feelings head on, or right now is just not the time to talk about your feelings, well, when is a good time?? I tell my daughter (3 yrs old) all the time, don't fuss and put on a sad face for no reason, you should want to be happy, you should try to be happy, you don't have any reason not to be happy. Take a moment when you are not feeling happy or "even" at the least and think about your blessings, think about a time when you were happy and go back there, then smile. Pass around a smile today instead of a frown. My hope is that the next time I feel like I'm in a funk, that I will come back to this post, read it, and live it. I find release in scrutinizing myself. Don't be afraid to smell your own shit (this is a blog topic in and of itself). Find out what makes you happy so that you can add to someone else's happiness rather than subtract from it. This is my prayer for Me today...

The Fear of Losing Control

I apologize in advance for the length of this blog.

Truly, I don't have many issues with control. I prefer driving (control issue), I try to keep my home environment very "lite" and cheerful so as to keep it as positive as possible (control issue, though not by any means a bad one), I prefer to offer my support (financial or otherwise) and my time to people (outside of my unit) rather than have them ask me for it (control issue no doubt picked up from my step-father, lol), I don't allow kids to act grown around me (my neice and nephew can attest to this one). Those are a few of the things that I have some control over so I try to take advantage and make those things go my way. I rarely worry or struggle with having control over things that I know I have no control whatsoever over. It's such a waste of positive energy in my opinion. I've learned recently, or I've deducted that people who have control issues, sometimes try to exert control areas that are unnecessary when they've lost control in other areas of their lives. Whether it be their physical health, financial situation, in relation to work, or whatever. In these areas in particular, I think we have some control, not full control. We can eat better and work out more, but we still may have an ailment surface that we could not have done anything to avert. It's for a reason. We can budget better, save more, make wiser investments, but unexpected things happen every day that cause our financial plans to be thwarted. It's for reason. At work, all we can do is our very best with what resources we are provided to complete our daily tasks, that's about it; so it tends to be easy to not stress in this area when you know you've given your all and then some. So when we lose control we get scared. We close up. We fight with those we love about nothing or very insignificant things. My truth is this: I have control of my attitude (minus the few days where my P.M.S. is kicking my @$$), my will, my smile or lack there of. God controls pretty much everything else. Once I thought I had control of my mind, completely, oh boy was I proven wrong when introduced to the wrath of p.m.s., which I'd never experienced before up until a few months ago. I thought I was losing my mind because I lose the ability at times to remain even tempered (one of my strong points), to be balanced (sound mind, spirit, chi, energy, etc.). Once I became more conscious of the issue I was faced with, through meditation and having long conversations with myself about it, I found that the truth is, it is what it is, like most things in life. IT IS WHAT IT IS! So, sometimes I have to find a quiet spot inside myself and sit there for a moment until I calm down. My loved ones understand that I am going to be a bit shorter. I may say more things that maybe I would not have said on a normal day, or I may say things in a bit more brash tone than normal, because whatever hormones are out of balance at that time cause me to not be as concerned as I normally am in regards to other's feelings, emotions, ego, etc. What's important is that I am aware of this, and I find peace in trying to change the parts of this problem that can be hurtful to others. I think it would help, if there is someone whom you are close with, whom you trust, whom you know loves you, if you would just open up and talk more about what you are afraid of. Letting it out and talking it through helps sometimes. Just let God......

Re: Worrie

Stop Worrying! I realized, consciously, that the less I worry, the more clearly I am able to see the many ways in which God is blessing me. The less I worry and stress over my financials; each week I pay my bills. At times it feels like God bending down and kissing me on the cheek. He says, "Didn't I tell you baby, none of that is yours to bear." And so I smile. In a Rolling Stone article, Badu said (and I paraphrase), "I just smile and allow my attitude to catch up to it." Just let God. When you think you have a reason to worry, know there is none. When I feel like I want to worry and stress over a situation, and despite that feeling I decide not to, it's like freedom. Worry and stress can eat you alive. So I say this to you: the less you clog your spiritual eyes, your mind, your heart with worry, stress, anxiety, etc., the more clearly you will be able to see your blessings which in turn will enhance your peace, happiness, and joy.

The Physical Love High

In regards to your romantic relationship, partnership, homieloverfriendship, etc. - Have good hard sex, love making, f*cking sessions 2 to 3 times a week. I'm not talking about the 10 minute variety. I'm talking spend a good 45 minutes to 2 hours concentrating on every nook and cranny of your mate. Take your time so that you can go as deep within each other as you can stand to be (I mean this both literally and figuratively of course). Personally speaking, it makes me feel Damn Sexy. No matter what parts of my body I'd like to get nipped or tucked for reasons all relating to the want or desire to have my pre-baby body, Still y'all, I feel DAMN sexy. My Lover shows me so. And I try my absolute best to show my partner that I love every curve, crevice, and crease of the body that the Father so graciously blessed her with. I make a valiant effort to not pass on the opportunity to caress and partake in the beauty of it all. Don't be afraid to give directions. Don't be afraid to follow directions. The result is that eventually you'll need no directions, you'll both be on the same path to Cloud 12. Trying your absolute damndest to help one another get there. It's like a high you've never known.